A very merry half-birthday to you......
My sweet little baby celebrated his six month birthday a few weeks ago, and I’m left wondering how that's even possible. The fact that I even have a child still amazes me, let alone that he was born HALF a YEAR ago. And so you know, uttering the words "half a year" just makes Kasen sound so very grown up. Ahhhh . . . It makes me tear up. Being overly sentimental and a woman can be a lethal combination during moments such as this.
His very first month of life seemed to be the longest of days. We all spent that rather chilly month of April at the hospital. It was our home away from home where time seemed to stand still. Staring at a tiny miracle baby in his incubator, anticipating each and every day. We couldn't wait to have him home.
Born at a mere 3 pounds 4 ounces, he was sooo little. His eyes were black, his skin was translucent, & his eyelashes were non-existent. Who would have guessed that my husband & I would have had such a small child? Coming from a mother that weighed 9 pounds 6 ounces & a father that weighed 8 pounds 8 ounces, we expected a chunk. Granted, Kyle was 10 days past due, and my mother ate an entire box of Little Debbies a day while pregnant. Yes, you read that right. A DAY. I blame my ridiculous sweet tooth on her ;). (Love you mom). None the less we prepared for a big baby. Of course we also expected Kasen to be born full-term. But life certainly has a way of surprising you. I mean finding out that we were pregnant was quite the surprise in and of itself. And now life would never ever be the same without Kasen in it. Our entire world would be so different, but I wouldn't trade our little family for anything. My husband and I just adore our boy. We are especially fond of this age Kasen is at. His personality is really un-raveling in the best of ways. I miss my tiny baby at times though. I miss my newborn. I miss my two month old. I miss my four month old. It seems as if I blink my eyes, Kasen is a month older.
Even the not so great ones. I've used this quote before but, Dr. Seus once said, “don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” He’s right you know. Time is an inevitable and intangible thing. There is nothing I can do to slow the hands of time (as much as I wish I could). All I can do is enjoy the time while it is. And be thankful. I know I probably sound selfish. There are some people that never got to have children. There are some with babies that are gone. There are some that wish they had even gotten 7 months. And I am so blessed to have gotten to spend so much time with my boy.
Dwelling in the past and being sad about what is already over wastes the
very wonderful moments right here and now. I can’t say that I won’t ever get sad again. I know I will. Toddler years, kindergarten, and skipping way ahead to graduation (as far off as that sounds) will get to me. But I will know deep in my heart that those moments are full of joy. They are wonderful and special. They are full of LIFE. And that is the most important thing. I can’t keep him a baby forever. And as much as I say I wish I could, it's not the whole truth. The other side of me can't wait for him to say his first word, take his first step, potty train, hold conversations with me, color and jump, play sports, make friends, discover new things, have his first crush [welllll maybe not this one as much ; ) ], and the list continues. My job isn't to let my emotions dictate my parenting. My job is to love him and raise him to be independent. A sweet, loving, smart, respectful, independent, God fearing MAN. And knowing my role as a parent makes me strive to be a better person all around. I want to be the kind of person I want my kid(s) to grow up to be. I want to be the kind of mother & wife that Kasen will look for in a future spouse. Being a mom is one of the most rewarding things I have ever experienced. And I’m blessed for it. I am so in love with my child. This all consuming love I have for him is one of the greatest things in this world. So today will be a day like many other days, where I neglect Mt. Laundry (who needs clean clothes anyways)? and hold my baby ALL day. & I'll leave you with a few pictures out of the 3,000 + I have of Kasen in no particular order. Oh how I love pictures. Can you tell?